When Big Dreams Change

Last updated on July 27th, 2023 at 10:36 am

Big dreams are ethereal wisps of the potential future. You can stare at them. You can pull at them. You can bring them into reality, changing them as your desires change. An endless world of possibility awaits a big dreamer.

My dream for over a decade has been to show women how beautiful they are. I wanted to prove we are our harshest critics. I believed self-esteem was a transient state we either worked for or against. Taking the idea that self-esteem could be changed, I embarked on a journey that has brought me a life of passion and change.

I consider myself a Pinup Feminista.

My career in pinup art began with the goal of showing women of all ages, stages, and sizes how stunning they are. What better way to show women how gorgeous they are? Bringing out their inner pinup girl was my way of saying, “Holy CRAP, can’t you see how GORGEOUS you are?!” (And I honestly, I have said that many times, meaning every word.)

My goal was to turn the original intent of pinup on its head and heal women who hate their bodies with my therapeutic photography sessions. Instead of creating an artistic ideal to please men, I turn modern women into a bombshell with a very feminist purpose. I tell my clients,

“Do this for you. Not for him. Not five pounds from now. Longer hair and more confidence won’t change the amazing experience you will have.”

And the fun byproduct of this is men notice a confident woman. This dream has fueled me for a decade. But with all of my life changes, my dream focus shifted. One of the ways you build a successful business is by researching and understanding your ideal clientele. After many years in the pin-up art game, I’ve narrowed down my ideal client.

If a girl is fairly confident and knows in her bones that she is beautiful–she is not my ideal client. This was a really hard lesson to learn and accept. Business law says you choose the clients who can afford you. And I love working with all women. But over the years, I have realized a truth about my dream: my heart sings, and my soul is nourished when I work with a woman who doesn’t believe she is beautiful. These women struggle to be everything to everyone and find it hard to believe they’re pretty.

My heart seeks a woman with an inner beauty that has been dulled over time by the insecurities whispered to her by our busy world. I come to life as I nurture the intrinsic inner spark and fan it into a flame that shines from her heart and out of her eyes.

I found a way to prove I was helping create change. I conducted a survey of 30 past clients about how they felt before, during, and after my process. It measured their self-esteem at each stage. The survey showed their self-esteem had improved by 46%. The women who were already confident in their self-image saw a 10%-30% improvement. The women who really needed to experience our process saw as much as 90% improvement. This shows me where my focus needs to be.

I will always be the go-to girl for pinup art, especially sophisticated ones. But I can feel my heart expanding to include the other things that fuel me. This is the moment when dreams change and …

I’ve expanded my business model and created a new niche for Photo Therapy.

I’m working with therapists to address body dimorphic disorder. I’m setting up programs to help kids and adults undergoing the chemo process adjust their self-esteem. I want to be able to take the time to do self-esteem seminars and reach elementary school-aged kids. We can confirm their beauty before they’ve learned to hate themselves. I think we can undo bullying. And hopefully, address young suicide.

I want to teach other photographers how to work with people and lift their clients up without relying solely on retouching. I’ve been talking about doing all of this for years but was so busy with pinup that I didn’t have time to give it the attention it deserved.

Pinup art will continue to be a part of my life, business, and repertoire, but I want to do more than pinup photography. I want to create change. I thought that my art was a way to do that. I think I can do better. In addition to vintage art, I’m excited to go where my heart and creativity take me. As long as I’m affirming the beauty in others, I can’t go wrong.