• LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US

8WomenDream

Dream Big Stories

  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONNECT
You Are Here Home » BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER » 6 Truths to Help You Say No so You Can Say Yes to Your Dream

in BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

6 Truths to Help You Say No so You Can Say Yes to Your Dream

Last updated on January 22nd, 2019 at 01:50 pm

6 Truths to Help You Say No so You Can Say Yes to Your Dream QuotesDo you wish you had someone who could help you say no? Are you sick and tired of saying “yes” to everyone else and “no” to your big dream? Are you being pulled in too many directions–none of which have you working on your dream? Are you stressed out about your big dream? Are you overworked with no time available to work on your dream? Are you suffering from dream burn-out?

Yeah. We’re women.

Many women feel like what I just asked above most of the time. “Busy” is one of the most dangerous four-letter words of our day. We carry that word like a badge-of-honor as if the women who are the busiest win some sort of magical self-cleaning toilets where no one ever interrupts their business and the toilet paper is 100 dollar bills.

I am here to tell you that being too busy can kill you and rob you of your joy. Being busy all of the time is nothing to brag about.  You don’t get more points for it. So how do you get off this busy-ride? Let me help.

6 Truths To Help You Say No and Enjoy More Dream Time

1. Truth: Acknowledge This is a Problem.

You can’t solve a problem until you admit you have one. Acknowledge that the busy-ride is moving too fast and you are going to get hurt. Until you are truly aware that this pace is too much for you, you will never change it. Period. Take a long hard look at what “being busy” gets you.

Why are you so busy? Do you think more people will like you if you say yes?  Do you think people will think you’re lazy if they see you taking a nap?  Do you like it when people praise you for what you’ve done and everybody else cheers?  Is taking on too much a sign of something deeper going on?  Ask yourself why you keep saying yes to everything. Does it have anything to do with how you want others to feel about you?

2. Truth: Know the Limits of Your Time.

There are only so many hours in the day. There are only so many things you can do in that day. There are only so many people you can please. There is only so much that can get done. You have only so many years left in this life and it will be over. You don’t get a do-over. One life. That’s it.

You may choose to live your life any way you want. It’s your call. If you choose to be miserable and stressed, I can’t stop you, and I can’t make you want something else. Not my job. You have to truly want a more peaceful life as a gift to yourself.

3. Truth:  Understand What You Really Can Control.

There is very little around us that we can control.  We can’t control other people and what they do. We can’t control these circumstances.  We can only do what we can do.

Take a moment to really process that. We. Can. Only. Do. What. We. Can. Do. As long as you think you can control the world, you will continue to try.

 Anne Taintor Square Refrigerator Magnet - Most of it Sucks

4. Truth: Clarify Your Priorities.

Until you know exactly what is important, you will think everything is important.  This starts with truly understanding and writing down what is important to you. What matters to you. What kind of life do you want?

What are your top three or four priorities in life? Inside those priorities, what are the top three priorities? Get specific and define it.  “Being a good mom” is too broad. It will cause you to think that every opportunity to be involved in your child’s life fits.  Define what a good mom will look like for you – the top priorities.

5. Truth: Understand That Something Always Loses

When you say yes to something, you are saying no to your top priorities.  Something always has to give. When you say yes to hosting a baby shower for someone you haven’t seen in 10 years, you are saying no to something that really matters to you. There are only so many hours in a day. These moments are like dollars in a checking account. When you buy something, you lower a number of dollars you have left.  When you “pay” to host a shower, you have just taken out money from your son’s account.

And in the world of time, we don’t get to charge it.  It gets a lot easier to say no to a stranger’s request when you see what you are giving up to do it.

6. Truth: Know Your Triggers

Being caught off guard is often a reason for saying yes when we don’t want to. Don’t get caught off guard. Never answer someone right away. Give yourself 24 hours or more to think it over, process, and respond.  Taking time to respond will lessen the chance that someone will catch you when you’re tired, weak, or be doing something so you’ll look good at the moment that you’ll later regret.

Have responses ready for when people ask you a favor. “Thank you for asking. I am going to take some take thinking about that and whether it fits into my current priorities, and I will get back to you within 48 hours.”  This will sound strange saying it to your mother-in-law. Do it anyway.

Anne Taintor Square Refrigerator Magnet Excuse Me

Closing Thoughts.

Have you ever had a moment when tragedy entered your life without any warning?

Remember how your entire world shifted and the only thing that mattered was what was happening at that moment? All the other worries and priorities suddenly faded away to nothing because nothing was as important as what you faced at that moment? While these are not moments we wish for, there is one thing we can learn while in them–that what we thought was important a minute ago, suddenly isn’t so important now. Somehow it’s easy for us to learn this lesson when tragedy is staring us in the face.

The true test is whether we’ll carry that lesson with us when life gets back to normal, as a constant reminder of the fleeting nature of life. I think the picture caption at the top of this ‘help you say no’ article of mine explains it best.

Kelly Swanson

Related Stories:

  • Say yes to life
    To Live Your Big Dream You Must Say Yes To Life
  • 8 Women Dream: Just Say Yes To Your Dreams
    8 Women Dream: Just Say Yes To Your Dreams
  • Iman Woods self-portrait featured in Playgirl Magazine her dream of national print coverage complete.
    Learning to Say Yes to Your Big Dream
  • Why You Can't Get Speaking Engagements
    4 Simple Truths Why You Can't Get Speaking Engagements
Kelly Swanson
Kelly Swanson

Kelly Swanson is an award-winning storyteller, comedian, motivational speaker, Huffington Post Contributor, and cast member of The Fashion Hero television show airing on Amazon Prime. She is also the author of Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale, The Land of If Only, The Story Formula, and The Affirmation Journal for Positive Thinking. She was a featured entertainer for Holland America Cruise Lines, keynote speaker for the International Toastmasters Convention, and has keynoted major conferences and corporate events from coast to coast. She just launched her one-woman show Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale in theaters, and it is being booked all over the country. In July of 2022, she was inducted into the National Speakers Association Speaker Hall of Fame.

Note: Articles by Kelly may contain affiliate links and may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on an affiliate link.

Filed Under: BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

Some of the posts on 8WD contain affiliate links or links to purchase products or programs from 8WD contributors. This means 8WD or the contributor may make a small commission if you make a purchase. The 8WD affiliate links help offset the cost of hosting this website and the contributor links help support the dreams of the contributor. Please check out the 8WD Legal Page for more details.

Thank you for your continued support!

« The Basics of Strategic Storytelling Featured in The Story Formula
World Travel Dream Requires Carry-on Luggage »

Check it out

  • LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US


The 8WomenDream Dream Tote Bag

About the 8WomenDream Tote Bag
US – 10oz Cotton
Dimensions (External Dimensions)
• Height – 18″ (45.72cm or 457.2mm)
• Width – 15″ (38.1cm or 381mm)
Handle Dimensions (Internal Dimensions)
• Length – 29″ (73.7cm or 736.6mm)

Recent Dream Stories

  • 8 Solstice Traditions for Focusing on Your Big Dream this Year
  • Winter Solstice: What Will You Do With 1 Minute More?
  • Why Halloween Costumes Can Help Discover Your Big Dream
  • How the Equinox Can be a Catalyst for Change
  • 5 Strategies to Live Your Wildest Dreams
  • Starting Over as a Single Mom Wasn’t My Big Dream
  • Warning: Big Dream to Be a Motivational Speaker Won’t Always Obey Your Plans
  • Dance to Relieve Stress to Focus on Your Big Dream

Inspiration

More About 8WD

WE BELIEVE EVERYONE HAS THE POWER TO ACHIEVE BIG DREAMS.
 
IT IS OUR SINCEREST WISH THROUGH THE SHARING OF PERSONAL STORIES ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO TRY TO ACHIEVE A BIG DREAM THAT WE WILL INSPIRE YOU GO AFTER A BIG DREAM TOO.
 
YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT 8WOMENDREAM, HERE.

8 WOMEN DREAM | COPYRIGHT All RIGHTS RESERVED © 2025 · LEGAL

Welcome to 8WomenDream Where Big Dreams Are Shared
The 8WomenDream website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're OK with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. ACCEPT REJECT READ MORE
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT