Finding Happiness After Divorce

Last updated on July 28th, 2023 at 12:28 pm

When I made the painful decision to end my marriage, I never dreamed that we could all be happier.

Many people feel sorry for divorced families. I did. I remember seeing other families struggle and thinking that I was glad my family was intact, regardless of how unhappy we were.

The idea of unhappy divorced families also kept me from making the tough decision to file for divorce myself.

Contrary to popular belief, married families are not superior to divorced families. Families are families, no matter what they look like.

Recognizing that every child’s and family’s experiences and emotions vary is essential. However, I have discovered some certain factors and strategies can contribute to the happiness and well-being of divorced families with children.

Here are some potential ways divorced families might find happiness:

Developing Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Children and parents who learn healthy coping mechanisms, such as talking about their feelings, seeking support from friends or counselors, or engaging in hobbies they enjoy, are more likely to navigate divorce more effectively and find happiness.

Being Emotionally Supportive Parents: When both parents remain actively involved in the child’s life and provide emotional support, it can significantly contribute to the child’s happiness. Children benefit from loving and supportive relationships with both parents, even if they are no longer together. This is the main reason my ex-husband and I work hard to be friends.

Having a Stable Home Environment: Providing a stable and predictable home environment helps children and newly divorced parents feel secure. Consistent routines and clear communication can minimize the uncertainty and anxiety stemming from the divorce.

Supporting Open Communication: Encouraging open and honest communication about divorce and its impact on everyone involved can help children and divorced parents process their emotions better. It also allows everyone to express their concerns, fears, and questions.

Reducing Conflict: If you love your children, you will work hard to minimize any conflicts, especially in front of the children. High levels of conflict can cause stress and emotional distress for children, making it harder for them to find happiness. It also makes it near impossible to negotiate regular life, like a change in schedule, illness, unexpected life events, etc.

Spending Quality Time Together: Quality time with each parent can foster a strong parent-child bond. Engaging in fun activities, meaningful conversations, and creating positive memories can boost a child’s happiness and deepen a parent’s connection to their children.

Building a Strong Support Network: Encouraging children to maintain healthy relationships with extended family, friends, and other positive influences can help create a broader support network. Don’t make each other give up the other parents or kids give up their grandparents, or aunts and uncles. Work hard to keep those relationships open.

Getting into Therapy or Counseling: Professional therapy or counseling can provide divorced parents and their children with a safe space to process their feelings and develop coping strategies. I love my therapist. My life is so much better than having a professional to talk with whenever I need one. I cannot recommend this enough.

Encouraging Personal Growth: Supporting children to pursue their interests, hobbies, and talents can boost their self-esteem and happiness. And it’s important for divorced parents to expand into new hobbies and adventures. Just hold off on the dating scene while everyone recovers and adjusts. Trust me; it never works anyway. It’s better to stay single for at least a year, depending on the length of your marriage.

Respecting Feelings: Validating divorced children’s emotions and allowing them to express their feelings without judgment can help them navigate the complexities of divorce more effectively. It also opens up the opportunity to be a better parent.

Divorce can be a challenging experience for everyone involved. It is important to be patient throughout the process. Each person impacted by the divorce will cope with the situation differently, and providing love, support, and a nurturing environment around you can go a long way in promoting happiness and well-being in your new life.

Because you can be happy again after a divorce.