• LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US

8WomenDream

Dream Big Stories

  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONNECT
You Are Here Home » HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM » To Live Your Dreams Remember Fear Is A Paper Dragon

in HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM

To Live Your Dreams Remember Fear Is A Paper Dragon

Last updated on June 30th, 2019 at 05:44 pm

Living your dreams when fear is a paper dragonMaybe you, dear fellow dreamer, are one of those rare people who are absolutely fearless in all circumstances. Not me.

Although I may seem blazingly confident, the truth is that I’ve been nervous before tackling every “new” dream goal.  First dates make me nervous. Preparing to lead a workshop for a roomful of people gives me the butterflies.

Once I’m “rolling,” and the event has launched, and I’m back in the present moment, I’m generally fine.

But I experience some anxiety and internal resistance almost every time I decide to try something new, or when I anticipate doing it.  The idea of doing something new usually just makes me a little nervous. Luckily, diving in and doing it is usually easier than just thinking about it, in the end.

And, even more luckily, my fears haven’t stopped me from pursuing my dreams so far in this lifetime, and I don’t intend to let them stop me in the future.

I just keep looking my fears in the face and walking through them. Over and over and over again.

How Did I Become a Brave Woman?

If you had told me when I was a little girl that someday I’d be traveling the world, teaching spiritual workshops in India, writing for a blog that is read by half-a-million people a year, I would have thought you were crazy.

If you’d told me that I would someday become a professional swing dancer performer and instructor, performing on television sometimes or in front of crowds of thousands, I would have laughed.

  • Earn a Master’s Degree at Harvard? Me?
  • Complete a 459-page book manuscript about my own Eat, Pray, Love story?
  • Spend a month teaching in India?

Did I really do all of that? Hmm, yes I guess that was me.

I still can’t quite believe myself the things that have happened and are happening, on my path.

Live Your Dreams: Hazardous cliffs warning when i hiked the na pali coast trail

Following My Passions Where They Lead Me

For me, the key to conquering my fears has been simply following my passions. When I want to do something–anything–badly enough, I will push through my fears to make it happen.

That was true in high school when I, a former total nerdy geek, decided to become a cheerleader. I was so nervous about auditioning but I stretched every night until I could do the splits, and I learned the little dance routines, and presto, I made it.

That courage served me well years later when my dance partner was flipping me in the air in front of big crowds. I love dancing and love performing, so I just practiced and pushed through my nerves to get out there and dazzle ’em.

It was true when I decided to finally write the book I’d been wanting to write for years, one year ago. The prospect of writing my own story was absolutely daunting. For starters, I was terrified to share my “secret” with the world that I’d been a survivor of rape, and been stalked by a man who threatened to kill me. I’d suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and depression afterward but hid it well from most people.

Telling my story required me to have some real courage and make some leaps. I told my story out loud as the keynote speaker at a Take Back the Night rally and I decided I was finally ready to write it down. I want to share the story so that others know it is possible to heal from trauma and to create a happy life. And I’d always wanted to write books, so as much as it still sometimes terrified me, I knew it was time to just go ahead and do it.

Live Your Dreams: Me at an Indian wedding in India

Me, A Spiritual Teacher?

I really would have laughed years ago if you had told me that I’d someday become a “spiritual teacher” of sorts, and a life coach. I was the poster-child for neurosis for so many years and was a worried, overwrought, over-anxious, over-achieving child.

All the years that I spent healing from trauma, through yoga, meditation, and Buddhist teachings, showed me that if I could heal from panic attacks, depression and anxiety, anybody could. Most of the time now, I live with great joy, peace, and love in my heart and life, and most of the time, I feel great.

I started teaching workshops to help others heal using similar techniques and started teaching workshops on living your dreams. I also do life coaching now for groups and individual clients.

It all sometimes still feels somewhat surreal and wonderful to me.

Yet pushing through all these fears over the years doesn’t mean that I have reached the point of “no fear” yet. That’s okay. Courage is feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.

Jumping Outside My Comfort Zone

Lately, I’ve pushed myself outside my comfort zone again by taking private yoga lessons with an amazing teacher who was a bit intimidating to me at first, and by signing up for an eight-month-long life coaching certification program with best-selling author and life coach, Martha Beck, who is a personal hero of mine.

I’ve had to push my vanity aside while dripping with sweat in uncomfortable yoga poses in front of my handsome yoga teacher. I am sure I’ll have to confront my own fears and vulnerabilities and push through them while doing this new coaching training program.

I’m pushing forward with completing the final draft of my book manuscript as well, which sometimes still scares the hell out of me. But I’ve committed to finishing it, and I will make it happen.

Live Your Dreams: Me with the children of India

What Are We So Afraid of, Anyways?

I don’t always understand exactly what I’m afraid of when I move forward with my goals sometimes.

Failure? Success? Not being good enough?

I think we as humans sometimes simply feel afraid when trying something new. Yet that isn’t a good enough reason to not do what we want to do.

For me the big question is:

Is your dream bigger than your fears?

Can you keep going because you are committed to being who you wish to be in the world, and because life keeps calling you to something greater?

For me luckily so far in my life, the answer has been yes. But fear still rears its ugly head sometimes. When it does, here is what I do:

4 Ways to Conquer Fear

1. Translate Your Fear Into Exhilaration
Author, Gay Hendricks, wrote in his book, The Big Leap: “There’s only one way to get through the fog of fear, and that’s to transform it into the clarity of exhilaration. One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I’ve ever heard comes from Fritz Perls, MD, the psychiatrist and founder of Gestalt therapy. He said, ‘Fear is excitement without the breath.“

The next time you feel afraid, take a deep breath and call it excitement.

2. Remember That Fear is “False Expectations Appearing Real”
I love this acronym. Our fear thoughts would have us believe that we can’t do just about anything we set out to do when the opposite is usually true. Remember that fear (the kind when we are nervous about the future, not the kind when we are being chased by tigers!) is not REAL–it’s just a negative worry thought. You don’t have to believe it.

One of my life coaches used to tell me to think of fear as a “paper dragon.” It might look menacing, but it’s harmless.

3. Do Something Every Day That Scares You 
I love the idea of challenging myself every day to do something little that will scare me, just a little bit, and push me outside my comfort zone.

The more scary things I do, the more I know with certainty that I can handle anything that comes my way, with grace.

4. Do The Thing You’re Afraid Of
There’s a great quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that says, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.” I definitely find this to be true.

Sometimes we just have to dive in and do it.

I talk my life coaching clients through these kinds of situations all the time, and face them in my own life. I’m tackling some new adventures soon in my own life (*deep breath*) I know I can do it.

What will you do to move forward on your big dream, in spite of your fear?

Lisa Powell Graham

Related Stories:

  • 8WD-post
    Warning: I've Awakened The Food Addiction Dragon Within
  • Worry is a misuse of the imagination quote by Dan Zadra
    Overcoming Fear Like Charlie Brown to Live Your Dream
  • Remember To Dare To Dream Big
    Remember To Dare To Dream Big
  • Remember The Inspiration When In Doubt
    Remember The Inspiration When In Doubt
Lisa Powell-Graham
Lisa Graham

Lisa P. Graham is an inspirational writer, life coach, TED motivational speaker, and globe-trotter whose passion is to help others to find happiness and meaning in their daily lives. A political activist at heart, Lisa would like to empower more women to run for political office as a way to create positive change in the world. You can find her on her website or watch her TEDx speech on YouTube.

Note: Articles by Lisa may contain affiliate links and may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on an affiliate link.

Filed Under: HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM

Some of the posts on 8WD contain affiliate links or links to purchase products or programs from 8WD contributors. This means 8WD or the contributor may make a small commission if you make a purchase. The 8WD affiliate links help offset the cost of hosting this website and the contributor links help support the dreams of the contributor. Please check out the 8WD Legal Page for more details.

Thank you for your continued support!

« Dreams 101: The Art of Doing Nothing
To Follow Your Dreams You Must Know Your 1 Thing »

Check it out

  • LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US


The 8WomenDream Dream Tote Bag

About the 8WomenDream Tote Bag
US – 10oz Cotton
Dimensions (External Dimensions)
• Height – 18″ (45.72cm or 457.2mm)
• Width – 15″ (38.1cm or 381mm)
Handle Dimensions (Internal Dimensions)
• Length – 29″ (73.7cm or 736.6mm)

Recent Dream Stories

  • 8 Solstice Traditions for Focusing on Your Big Dream this Year
  • Winter Solstice: What Will You Do With 1 Minute More?
  • Why Halloween Costumes Can Help Discover Your Big Dream
  • How the Equinox Can be a Catalyst for Change
  • 5 Strategies to Live Your Wildest Dreams
  • Starting Over as a Single Mom Wasn’t My Big Dream
  • Warning: Big Dream to Be a Motivational Speaker Won’t Always Obey Your Plans
  • Dance to Relieve Stress to Focus on Your Big Dream

Inspiration

More About 8WD

WE BELIEVE EVERYONE HAS THE POWER TO ACHIEVE BIG DREAMS.
 
IT IS OUR SINCEREST WISH THROUGH THE SHARING OF PERSONAL STORIES ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO TRY TO ACHIEVE A BIG DREAM THAT WE WILL INSPIRE YOU GO AFTER A BIG DREAM TOO.
 
YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT 8WOMENDREAM, HERE.

8 WOMEN DREAM | COPYRIGHT All RIGHTS RESERVED © 2025 · LEGAL

Welcome to 8WomenDream Where Big Dreams Are Shared
The 8WomenDream website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're OK with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. ACCEPT REJECT READ MORE
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT