Is Worry a Part of Dream Success?

Last updated on August 27th, 2019 at 04:32 pm

This week, 8WD visitors quickly tipped over 25,000 a month, and instead of celebrating the moment, I immediately began to worry about what my workload will be when the figure hits 50,000, then 100,000, then 250,000. I’ve seen this coming, but the realization that it is happening left me tossing and turning at night in my bed.

My first worried thought quickly moved to other worries–down to remembering I was running short on toilet paper. It’s like I’m the headliner for Worryfest 2.0 and my bed turns into my stage. Funny, I don’t remember signing up to be the headliner.

I worried about the writing on 8WomenDream–that it isn’t compelling enough.

I worried if our big dream stories are relatable. Does the reader find our stories engaging? Should I move that photo? Add another? Delete a paragraph? Should I have said more, moved the sidebar or changed the title? Does it even matter? Will search engines find this story? Should I have written that?

Website visitors can be like that perfect middle-of-the-night-crying-6-week-old baby that you’ve bathed, fed, diapered and cuddled–yet they seem unhappy. There is no way to understand why the baby is still fussy until they can tell you in some way, or you guess why because you’ve tried everything from changing their clothes to putting them on top of the dryer in their favorite carrier and turning it on–hoping on a wing and a prayer that the dryer’s movement and sound will lull them to sleep.

And often you feel lost.

That’s what it’s like when you try to figure out if you are adding value to your visitors’ lives. I want to add value to the Internet conversation. I want readers like you to understand that dreaming big dreams is possible, even if it drives you to obsess about the amount of toilet paper in their house in the middle of the night.

Why I chose this week to focus my anxieties on the 8WD content is anyone’s guess. We have good content on this website, and the middle-of-the-night thinking about it gave me writer’s block. That’s been fun.

Maybe part of this worry comes from the fact that I have, for the first time since college, the opportunity to get paid for writing–in many areas of my life. There’s a web development company selling my content copy-writing abilities, and Internet marketing expertise and new clients are crawling out of the woodwork to ask me for help.

We could say my dream is coming true. No pressure.

Why is it that I am in a constant state of worry?

Dave Navarro, a popular Copywriter, and Direct Response Consultant, writes the following about worry (which is fear) and success:

All your mentors are really, really screwed up. And they are, just like we are. They have baggage just like we do. Marketing and growth coach, Naomi Dunford of Ittybiz admitted it perfectly in What To Do When You’re Scared Sh*tless. She freaks out, just like I do, just like you do, just like every single one of your heroes and mentors.

Successful people (who I define as action takers, not rich people) experience worry, terror, and what I often refer to as “pants-wetting fear.” Sometimes we are absolutely, positively sick to our stomachs with stress before we click “Send” on that email or “Publish” on that blog post.

But the thing is, we actually follow through and click “Send.” We click “Publish.” And that’s what puts food on the table.

Sometimes, the results are amazing. Other times, (and to be honest, oftentimes) the results are disappointing or even embarrassing.

But we do it anyway. And that’s why we (I’m including you in this “we”, by the way) — that’s why we have what we have. Not because we haven’t failed, but because we took action.

Oh look–I’m normal.

The best cure for worry is to expose the fear and bring it out into the open to see the light of day.

The trick when we are feeling fearful is to ask ourselves if what you are telling yourself is true. Once you’ve explored whether the statement is really true, then ask yourself if the opposite could be true. For example, deep in my heart, I know that my son and I and I will never be homeless, and the opposite scenario could be that I make so much money that we move into a new place with plenty of toilet paper storage.

Which is the better vision to hold for my son and me? One is more likely than the other, so why do this crazy fear-dance in my head? Why pay any attention to the fear? Does it really keep me safer?

Once I framed my worries in this context, my anxiousness subsided a bit but some concerns lingered. When I had a free moment to catch my breath, I tried other ideas for beating back worry, such as:

Hiking 6 miles.
Meditating twice a day–once in the morning and once at night before falling asleep.
Reading a great book on Internet marketing.
Writing about my worries.

And when this fails, then there’s Bobby for me to listen to his magic words, “Don’t Worry; Be Happy!”