• LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US

8WomenDream

Dream Big Stories

  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONNECT
You Are Here Home » WRITE WITH US » Warning: The Need To Win Can Be Ugly

in WRITE WITH US

Warning: The Need To Win Can Be Ugly

Last updated on November 5th, 2019 at 11:05 pm

As I continue to move further toward my dream of publishing horror stories, I have discovered I harbor a constant need to win.

This is a surprise to me as I have never considered myself competitive. I have, in fact, given credit for my work to other people; allowed them to take credit may be a better description.

Driving yourself to win can be a good thing, but I have found an ugly side as well. Here are three examples from both sides.

1. Enter writing competitions: Okay, the need to win here is a good trait. If I want to keep moving forward with my writing, then I need to gain some recognition, right?

2. Take a class with a child: My daughter and I are taking a medical terminology course at the Santa Rosa Junior College. I am taking the class to assist in my job search for work that will sustain me financially while I write on the side. My daughter is taking the course to enter the medical field as a career. Her reasons are purely altruistic, while the need for a paycheck motivates me.

So why do I feel the need to always win?

I am in my forties going back to school for the first time since high school. She is my 22-year-old daughter. If that doesn’t explain it to you, then I am afraid you will never get it. However, the need to win in this case makes me feel like a horrible person. She is my daughter, and I want her to do well.

I need to do better.

3. Wrestle with a spouse: I thought I was relatively physically strong, but then I challenged my husband to a wrestling match. Ha! It might have been more of a challenge for him if he had been drunk, and I had a backup wrestling team. I blindly went into our match thinking could win. I will never win this challenge–never.

But I did everything possible to win, even at the risk of injury.

I think there may be times when you should know to stop even if it means you won’t win.

The need to win can become ugly, both mentally and physically, not to mention painful. I think it’s important to keep trying, though.

Dawnda Schaefer

Related Stories:

  • facebook fatigue
    The Ugly Truth About Facebook Fatigue
  • A Super Bowl Win Does Not An Overnight Success Make
    A Super Bowl Win Does Not An Overnight Success Make
  • Win Your Dream Trip with the Travel Bucket List Contest
    Win Your Dream Trip with the Travel Bucket List Contest
  • Book Review: The Social Network Diet - Win A Free Copy
    Book Review: The Social Network Diet - Win A Free Copy
Contributor Dream Stories

Enjoy this special 8WomenDream Guest Contributor story submitted by new and experienced big dreamers throughout the world, edited and published to capture a dream perspective from different points of view. Do you have a personal dream story to share with 8WomenDream readers? Click here to learn how to submit dream big articles for consideration.

Note: Articles by Guest Post Contributors may contain affiliate links and may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on an affiliate link.

Filed Under: WRITE WITH US

Some of the posts on 8WD contain affiliate links or links to purchase products or programs from 8WD contributors. This means 8WD or the contributor may make a small commission if you make a purchase. The 8WD affiliate links help offset the cost of hosting this website and the contributor links help support the dreams of the contributor. Please check out the 8WD Legal Page for more details.

Thank you for your continued support!

« A Dreamers Trip to New York City
How The Transition To Summer Has Me Feeling Overwhelmed »

Check it out

  • LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US


The 8WomenDream Dream Tote Bag

About the 8WomenDream Tote Bag
US – 10oz Cotton
Dimensions (External Dimensions)
• Height – 18″ (45.72cm or 457.2mm)
• Width – 15″ (38.1cm or 381mm)
Handle Dimensions (Internal Dimensions)
• Length – 29″ (73.7cm or 736.6mm)

Recent Dream Stories

  • 8 Solstice Traditions for Focusing on Your Big Dream this Year
  • Winter Solstice: What Will You Do With 1 Minute More?
  • Why Halloween Costumes Can Help Discover Your Big Dream
  • How the Equinox Can be a Catalyst for Change
  • 5 Strategies to Live Your Wildest Dreams
  • Starting Over as a Single Mom Wasn’t My Big Dream
  • Warning: Big Dream to Be a Motivational Speaker Won’t Always Obey Your Plans
  • Dance to Relieve Stress to Focus on Your Big Dream

Inspiration

More About 8WD

WE BELIEVE EVERYONE HAS THE POWER TO ACHIEVE BIG DREAMS.
 
IT IS OUR SINCEREST WISH THROUGH THE SHARING OF PERSONAL STORIES ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO TRY TO ACHIEVE A BIG DREAM THAT WE WILL INSPIRE YOU GO AFTER A BIG DREAM TOO.
 
YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT 8WOMENDREAM, HERE.

8 WOMEN DREAM | COPYRIGHT All RIGHTS RESERVED © 2025 · LEGAL

Welcome to 8WomenDream Where Big Dreams Are Shared
The 8WomenDream website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're OK with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. ACCEPT REJECT READ MORE
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT