Last updated on August 10th, 2024 at 03:30 pm
I write a lot about dating after age 50, but if you too are looking for love after age 50, have you watched the movie The Social Network? It’s fascinating how the movie reveals Facebook’s origins. Isn’t it intriguing that a platform designed to share your life keeps so much of its own life under wraps?
While at Harvard, Mark Zuckerberg created Facemash, the precursor to Facebook. Facemash was a university version of Hot or Not—a rating site where users judged the attractiveness of photos. It’s a dating woman’s worst nightmare. Can you imagine ending up on the “not” list?
Who would invent such a cruel site?
Facemash has since evolved into Facebook, but with such not-so-humble beginnings, can it really be a place for finding dates if you’re over 50? Maybe not.
Can social networks truly bring two people together? Or does the allure of mystery and sexiness vanish when someone shares that they’re giving themselves a facial at 10 p.m. on a Saturday night while watching The Princess Bride?
“I just cleaned the litter box; now I’m trimming my toenails while drinking orange juice in my mismatched pajamas, with the dog farting in the corner…”
Is such exposure good for dating?
Facebook and Instagram might help you discover common interests—maybe you both love dark chocolate on a rainy day or share a fondness for Frank Sinatra. But can a deep, caring relationship be built on mutual “likes”?
As we navigate dating after 50, it’s worth asking: Do I really want my relationship life to play out publicly on Facebook, TickTok, Instagram, etc.? Watching my date’s relationship status change and wondering if his constant “Likes” on my posts mean he’s interested or just being friendly can be exhausting.
The truth is, dating in your 50s comes with its own set of challenges. And while social media might offer some initial connections, maintaining boundaries is important.
Here are 4 tips:
1. Keep the Mystery Alive: While sharing hobbies and interests is great, don’t overshare the minutiae of your daily life online. Save some things for those intimate conversations over coffee or dinner.
2. Take it Slow: In the rush to connect, it’s easy to get caught up in social media’s instant gratification. Remember that building a meaningful relationship takes time. Don’t feel pressured to change your relationship status or share every detail online.
3. Meet Through Friends: Sometimes, the best connections happen offline. Let your friends know you’re open to meeting someone, and see where it leads. Often, the personal touch of a friend’s introduction can spark a deeper connection than a Facebook message ever could.
4. Set Boundaries: If you meet someone online, establish what you’re comfortable sharing early. It’s okay to keep your relationship status private or take a break from social media as you get to know each other.
So, while I enjoy the movie, I’ll keep my dating life off social media–especially Facebook. Maybe it’s better to leave social media platforms to stay in touch with family and friends and trust the old-fashioned way of meeting someone special.
Veronica Jacobsen
Veronica Jacobsen manages a sober-living recovery center for women and works to teach women how to live healthy, radiant, and productive lives.
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