Positive Thursday: How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Last updated on March 30th, 2012 at 12:38 am

Last week, I blogged about living life to the fullest. Ending the over-thinking, over-planning, over-analyzing and living life instead of just “talking about life.”

I quoted my favorite author, Mark Batterson:

Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Accumulate experiences.

Today, I’m going to talk about loving yourself for YOU – ending the comparisons with others and kicking jealousy in the butt. Something I’ve learned first-hand is how much time can be wasted on jealousy and comparing yourself to others.

I wanted to share this Tiny Buddha article below I found about comparing yourself to others that shares five ways to deal with jealousy/comparisons!

Rather than comparing yourself to other people’s successes, failures, bodies, brains, relationships [WHATEVER], be happy for them and be happy and content with yourself. YOU have value and worth as an individual and that is not dependent on other people.

You are absolutely perfect just the way you are — and comparing yourself to others, which often leads to jealousy — is a path to self-destruction and misery.

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

1. RECOGNIZE SPECIFICALLY WHAT IS TRIGGERING THE COMPARISON.
Is it the desire to be “seen” and acknowledged? The fear of not being valued? Confirmation of not doing the “right” thing?

2. SEND THAT VULNERABLE PART HIGH-WATTAGE LOVE, BIG HUGS, AND WARM UNDERSTANDING.
Take the comparison simply as a “checking in point” for what is possible in the world. Use the vulnerability as a place of inspiration. Send it more high-wattage love.

3. COMPARE AND DESPAIR? IT RHYMES, SO IT’S AN EASY ADAGE TO REMEMBER, BUT IT’S NOT A PRODUCTIVE THOUGHT. REPLACE THOSE TWO WORDS WITH THIS RHYMING PAIR: ADMIRE AND INSPIRE.
The best of others bring out the best in us. What a gift to have so many people to find inspiration from! What a blessing to feel creative energy from others! Allow the light of others to light a bigger path for yourself.

4. REMEMBER: EVERYONE HAS TWO HANDS AND ONE MIND THAT THEY CAN USE TO CREATE, BUT WE ARE EACH BLESSED WITH A UNIQUE CREATIVE VOICE FROM OUR INDIVIDUAL SOULS.
Never doubt the power of what you are compelled to offer.

5. REALIZE THAT WHAT YOU ARE CALLED TO DO IN YOUR HEART IS WHAT YOU ARE CALLED TO DO FOR THE HEARTS OF OTHERS.
Claiming your soul’s purpose without expectation, judgment, or attachment is the primary commitment. You lose nothing and gain everything by shining your light brightly.

A good quote to refresh why it’s so vital to end jealousy and instead choose to live better is from Jennifer James:

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.

Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point — that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative — self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it’s a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them. — Jennifer James

May today be the day you start focusing on you and what is absolutely fantastic about YOU. May today appreciate life and not compare your life to others. May today be the day you ban insecurity and let in self-love!

Until next positive Thursday, xo!

xoxo – Andi