Last updated on July 8th, 2022 at 02:27 pm
Professional speaker, author, and recognized expert in peak performance, Dr. Larina Kase PsyD, MBA, defines self-sabotage as
“a state of mind and state of being which damages our belief in ourselves and our abilities to achieve that which we want to achieve. It is extremely common and it affects everyone in some way, shape, or form.
If you have not achieved everything that you want to achieve, it is likely that some type of self-sabotage is responsible.”
I know we all do this self-sabotage thing. I was curious as to why, so I went out on a little research quest for those of us who ate too much this week, ignored the need to move our bodies or anything else we did (or didn’t do) that got in the way of what we want to become.
Dealing with old pain
Some experts think self-sabotage behavior goes all the way back to childhood from a perceived hurt or injustice you felt powerless to change.
One example might be that you were never allowed to be in charge of your own money growing up. When faced with a choice to spend or not spend as an adult (even if we shouldn’t), a little voice in your mind says, “I deserve this. No one is going to dictate how I spend my money.”
Not realizing that there isn’t anyone really stopping us, but your child from the past has shown up in the present to derail your best-laid plans for financial freedom.
Another example might be a child who grew up in a house where the parents were very strict, especially if the mother was very controlling, and when it comes to food this child as an adult either starves herself or overeats.
Food is the one thing in life you feel the battle to control. Control over food = control over that old childhood control situation. You don’t see that you are now a grown-up, capable of controlling your environment without crazy eating. But these patterns can be so subtle that you often don’t see them when they occur and are left to wonder afterward why you keep repeating the patterns over and over.
Is this why I ate too many of the foods I should stay away from this week? Is it unprocessed pain?
No time for fun
It has been such a long time since I have taken any time off for fun. I cannot begin to tell you the last time I went on a vacation. The last time I took more than 4 days off was when I broke my ankle — over two years ago — and I had to stay in bed with my foot in the air! Is too much stress without any fun one of the root causes of my self-sabotage?
Self-help author, coach, lecturer, and teacher Debbie Ford believed you self-sabotage because you do not embrace our weaknesses, flaws, and shortcomings as a natural aspect of being human. If you did, we would ask for help when confronting self-sabotaging behaviors.
Well, holy left-over-turkey-sandwich-with-coleslaw-and-cranberry batman, I think she’s on to something. I am terrible at asking for help.
Is there any video help?
I went on a little search for a video about self-sabotage and found this video podcast by Psychotherapist Pat Pearson, who calls self-sabotage your internal glass ceiling–
Get out a notebook and watch this video when you have quiet time alone. She offers some interesting exercises to work through what is the root cause of your self-sabotaging behavior and how you can move beyond this behavior getting in the way of your big dreams.
Catherine Hughes is the editor and founder of 8WomenDream. She’s also a magazine columnist, content creator, blogger, published author, and former award-winning mom blogger. Catherine collaborates with companies to craft engaging web content and social media narratives. Her work, highlighting stories of the resilience and success of Northern California residents, appears in several print magazines. Outside of work, she treasures motherhood, her close friendships, rugby, and animals.
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