Last updated on April 1st, 2012 at 12:12 pm
Dr. Larina Kase defines self-sabotage as
“a state of mind and state of being which damages our belief in ourselves and our abilities to achieve that which we want to achieve. It is extremely common and it affects everyone in some way, shape or form.
If you have not achieved everything that you want to achieve, it is likely that some type of self-sabotage is responsible.”
What has me thinking about self-sabotage is how far off of healthy eating and exercise I went for a holiday.
I know we all do this self-sabotage thing. I was curious as to why, so I went out on a little research quest for those of us who ate too much stuffing, ignored the need to move our bodies, or anything else we did (or didn’t do) that got in the way of where we really wanted to be.
Dealing with old pain
Some experts think this type of behavior goes all the way back to childhood from a perceived hurt or injustice we felt powerless to change.
One example might be that we were never allowed to be in charge of our own money growing up. When faced with a choice to spend or not spend as an adult (even if we shouldn’t), a little voice in our mind says, “I deserve this. No one is going to dictate how I spend my money.”
Not realizing that there isn’t anyone really stopping us, but our child from the past has shown up in the present to derail our best laid plans for financial freedom.
Another example might be a child who grew up in a house where the parents were very strict, especially if the mother was very controlling, and when it comes to food this child as an adult either starves herself — or overeats.
Food is the one thing in life we feel a battle to control. Control over food = control over that old childhood uber-controlled situation. Once again, we don’t see that we are now grown-ups, capable of controlling our environment without the crazy eating.
But these patterns can be so subtle that we often don’t see them when they occur, and are left to wonder afterward why we keep repeating the patterns over and over.
Is this why I ate too many of the foods I should stay away from this week?
Is it unprocessed pain?
No time for fun
It has been such a long time since I have taken any time off for fun. I cannot begin to tell you the last time I went on a vacation. The last time I took more than 4 days off was when I broke my ankle — over two years ago — and I had to stay in bed with my foot in the air!
Is too much stress without any fun at the root cause of my self-sabotage?
Debbie Ford believes we self-sabotage because we do not embrace our weakness, flaws and shortcomings as a natural aspect of being human. If we did, we would ask for help when confronting self-sabotaging behaviors.
Well holy left-over-turkey-sandwich-with-coleslaw-and-cranberry batman, I think she’s on to something.
I am terrible at asking for help.
Why is that?
Is it perfectionism? Fear?
Any video help?
I went on a little search for a video about self-sabotage and found this by Psychotherapist Pat Pearson, who calls self-sabotage our internal glass ceiling –
Interesting.
I guess I’ll be back at dance class tomorrow night. Without bread. Or cake.
How about you?
How do you self-sabotage your dreams?
Keep dreaming –
Catherine
Catherine Hughes is the founder, content director and editor-at-large of 8WomenDream. She is passionate about helping women step out of their own way and strike out into a world waiting for their special talents. She’s a published author and a former award-winning mom blogger. Catherine has helped companies both large and small create engaging web content, social media narratives, and unique blogging platforms. She claims to be a redhead, but don’t hold that against her.
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