Let Grief Be Your Calling to Become More Grateful

Last updated on October 2nd, 2023 at 05:33 pm

These past two months have been an emotional rollercoaster, not exactly what I had anticipated for this year. But I believe it’s what God thinks I can handle, and who am I to question my creator, right?

Still, I couldn’t help but wonder, why me? Why this heartache? Why all of these disappointments?

I’m quite sure I’m not the only one facing challenging times. We all encounter circumstances beyond our control, and it’s tough when you’re dealing with your own problems to remember that others also go through loss and hardship.

It all began when I moved from Cape Town to Pretoria, South Africa. My grandfather had been diagnosed with shingles, which deteriorated him rapidly in just a few short months. When I visited him two months ago, I was shocked by how frail he had become. My once-strong grandfather was now blind and emaciated.

After spending time with him, I returned to Pretoria, trying to process what I was about to go through. Two weeks later, my sister delivered the news: my beloved grandfather had passed away. I was speechless. Even though you know that a loved one is nearing the end of their journey, nothing can prepare you for the day they are gone.

My family asked me to deliver the tribute speech at his service, representing the 39 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren. It was the most challenging speech I’ve ever had to give, but also the most heartfelt, filled with love. I’m grateful for my previous speeches, which prepared me for this moment. You never know where following your dreams will take you; no one said it would be easy.

Now that I’m back home, I’m going through the mourning process. At unexpected moments, I realize this will be the first Christmas without my “pappa.” My heart aches, but I must allow myself to feel the pain, let it wash over me, and then move forward. After all, experiencing grief is a testament to the love I shared with him.

My goal is to honor my grandfather by persevering through these challenging times. I’ve decided to host an event for 30 to 40 young girls from a disadvantaged area in Pretoria called Atteridgeville. I’ll be giving a talk in collaboration with a company called A.C.T. Our aim is to inspire these special young girls to love themselves more and work towards changing their lives. This project is keeping me going and helping me cope with my grief.

It’s said that when you reach out your hand into the darkness to pull someone into the light, you’ll find joy again. I believe that God never gives you anything you can’t ultimately overcome. I’m grateful for the opportunity to make my grandfather proud by continuing to motivate the young girls of South Africa as he watches over us.

The lesson here is not to let your dreams die when life knocks the wind out of you. Instead, stand up, take another breath, and move forward with the force of a tornado.

Embrace those moments when you’re called to be more grateful.

Being more grateful in the face of grief can be challenging, but it is possible and can be incredibly helpful in the healing process.

If you are going through similar difficult circumstances, here are ten ideas for cultivating gratitude during times of grief:

1. Acknowledge Your Grief: First, it’s essential to acknowledge and accept your feelings of grief. Allow yourself to feel the pain, sadness, and loss. It’s entirely normal to grieve, and suppressing these emotions can be detrimental.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness involves staying and accepting the present moment without judgment. When you’re mindful, you can better appreciate the positive aspects of your life, even amidst grief. It helps you focus on what you have rather than what you’ve lost.

3. Keep a Gratitude Journal: Start a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for each day, no matter how small. This can help shift your focus from what’s missing to what’s still present in your life.

4. Find Support: Seek support from friends, family, or a grief support group. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others who understand can be comforting and provide a sense of community.

5. Create Rituals: Establish meaningful rituals or traditions that honor your loved one’s memory. Lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or celebrating their life on special occasions can help you remember the positive moments you shared.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself. Understand that grief is a process, and having good and bad days is okay. Avoid self-criticism and practice self-care.

7. Express Gratitude for Your Loved One: Reflect on the positive aspects of the relationship you had with your loved one. Express gratitude for the time you had together and the lessons they taught you. Thank God for what they taught you and brought into your life.

8. Help Others: Volunteering or helping others who are also facing challenges can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It can remind you of your own strengths and blessings.

9. Seek Professional Help: If grief becomes overwhelming or persists for an extended period, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor specializing in grief and loss.

10. Remember the Love: Grief often comes from deep love and connection. Try to focus on the love you had for your loved one and the love they had for you. Remembering the positive aspects of your relationship can bring a sense of gratitude.

Remember that the grieving process is unique to each individual, and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Being more grateful doesn’t mean you must suppress your grief but rather find a way to balance your emotions and acknowledge the positive aspects of life even amidst the pain.

I dedicate this article in loving memory of my “pappa” and for all the joy and blessings he brought into my life.