We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives…not looking for flaws, but for potential.”― Ellen Goodman
When I read this quote I had what Oprah calls an “Ah-ha moment.” The message came across as bright as day: focus on your potential rather than your flaws!
In 2013, many of us were challenged beyond what we thought we could handle. It was a tough year for me personally. More times than not, I felt sorry for myself — yearning to lock the world out and take a break from my sadness with sleep.
You can’t really do that with a toddler underfoot.
It had to stop. So I started with a simple idea:
Believe that you have the magic within you,
“We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.”― J.K. Rowling
Many people have told me, “Sue you are a natural at what you do.” In the past, I would shrug off the compliment and avoid anything having to do with acknowledging my strengths. I was perfect at only looking at my perceived flaws.
Through last year, if you asked me to say something negative about myself I would have rattled off a long list of flaws.
Too often we concentrate on our flaws instead of what we are great at. We forget that we possess a certain magic that cant be replaced because it’s part of who we are — it’s genetically programmed to be a special part of our being.
But for some reason we hesitate in fully embracing it. By not praising your gifts and allowing them to make you into the person you are meant to be, you will shrink into depression and find ways to numb your way through your blessed one life.
To combat this issue.
Write down 3 things you are great at. Begin to acknowledge when you receive compliments from others recognizing your abilities at these three things. You know you have them. Just ask your dearest friends,
“What three things do you think I am really talented at?”
Your talents in these areas are your magic gift to the world. Start believing that today. Understand that it’s no accident that you have the special talents that you do.
Set achievable goals.
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”― Albert Einstein
Setting achievable goals is the quick way to feel good about yourself and it’s the perfect way to help you take small steps towards changing your life. With each goal achieved, you will start to feel confident and excited about finishing the rest of what you have planned.
If you have a larger goal that scares you, try dividing it into doing a small portion once a day or once a week. Your end result should be to achieve it in a certain amount of time.
A goal is merely a way of aiming your life towards something more. Sometimes the bigger dreams seem too large to achieve, but what is important is that you AIM at something. Make one of your New Year’s resolutions to start working on your dream, one achievable goal at a time.
Give back to yourself.
“Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you sacrifice too much there’s nothing else you can give and nobody will care for you.”― Karl Lagerfeld
I am so guilty of sacrificing me for the good of the many. I am awesome at giving my time to others, but there have been times that I have worked myself into a sick bed. I’ve found myself in a hospital with severe dehydration or a kidney infection.
2013 was full of that.
But for 2014, I have decided to give back to me. It’s not selfish to reward yourself with your own good care. Quit waiting for other people to take care of you, or make you feel better — demand this of yourself and promise yourself that you will take better care of you this year.
Do something that makes you amazingly happy.
Make a list of your favorite 100 things to do. Cut them up into individual pieces of paper and drop them in a pretty jar. Once a month pull something from the jar and go do it! Book an appointment at a salon if that’s your thing. Buy yourself something that boosts your confidence. Buy roses and spread the rose petals across your bed — just for you and lay in them.
Do whatever it is that makes you grin from ear to ear. NO guilt. Take it in and reward you for being you.
Kick out anger.
“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
How many times do we spend worrying about things that cant be fixed or hold a grudge because someone did something to us 2 years ago? It sounds silly doesn’t it?
Most of the time we will find that the people we are angry at have long forgotten about the argument and they have moved on. Maybe they didn’t even mean to hurt us.
Get over it darling! Your dream life should not be filled with anger. You can’t move forward with your life if you are still living in the past. Find closure. Write down what has made you so angry. Once that is done. Make peace with it and burn that letter/page. The fire should symbolize the end of your anger and also symbolize that there is light at every dark tunnel.
Never give up on your dream, but take steps to make it a reality.
“I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go.”― Langston Hughes
I am blessed to know that my dream of being a Women Empowerment speaker is coming true. I have a secondary dream to write books for women in the future and the dream feels so big. But I refuse to give up on it as I practice, practice, practice my writing. And you should do the same.
You deserve to have your dream come true, but what is important is that you develop a habit of responsibility for your dream and work on it a little bit every single day. Professional writers write something every single day. If I want to be one, then I must practice writing every single day.
Be responsible for each goal you set and go out and just pursue it.
Create a plan.
Write up a dream plan. Here is an example of a worksheet : www.8womendream.com/wp-content/uploads/Setting-dream-goals-worksheet.pdf on the 8 Women Dream Website. Print it out and spend time planning your dream.
Paste it on your wall where you can see it. Add a goal that you will achieve the goals you set for yourself.
Make 2014 your year of renewal. It’s a feeling of wanting to live a life that you deserve.
We aren’t the first people to be dreamers. Many famous dreamers who have come before us have also been down the same path we have. What sets them apart from us is that they refused to give up — so neither should we.
Wishing you all a phenomenal dream year. May all our dreams come true.
Remember to Just Pursue It!
PS. Recently, I’ve taken the risk of going back to work in the private sector to help me achieve my dreams. Yes I am scared — I won’t lie — but the excitement of new possibilities has me smiling from ear to ear. May you have just as many scary experiences this year!