Last updated on May 9th, 2018 at 08:54 pmAs women, we all have wounds we carried from someone else’s words. Words that become the way we speak to and about ourselves. Words we give the power to convince ourselves that we aren’t worthy. Three letter f words. Four letter f words. So many bad words! We all say things we wish we could take back. But how do we learn to stop ourselves from saying something that could hurt someone else?
I honestly wish I had a magical answer that would stop bullying for good.
I think if we heal our own pain, we’re less likely to hurt others. So if you find yourself saying hurtful things, try to examine what pain you are feeling. Know that when you’re unleashing your own anger, the amount of time it takes is far shorter than the amount of time it will live in their hearts.
Words have power. We have all experienced it.
One day during a high school tennis practice, my sister yelled, “Service!” as you do hundreds of times when you’re practicing. Then she got silly and said it over and over, changing the sound. We thought it was hilarious. The more she said it, the less the word meant. So I’m going to break my studio rule. I urge clients not to say negative things about themselves. But I’m so tired of hearing words in my head, words online, words from my friends about their bodies.
Fat is a three letter f-word. But there are other words and phrases women attack with. Let’s change what negative words can mean. And in parenthesis I’m posting responses you can make in your head when you hear this bull-tinky. Humor is amazing and even if you can’t say this stuff out loud, you can defend yourself in your mind. Anyone that has survived bullying will tell you that they relied on their sense of self.
Nasty (Says who? Who you made you the expert on my body or sex life? Let’s culture swab our vaginas and see who’s cleaner.)
Stupid (Yea, we can agree I’m pretty stupid for letting you talk to me like that before walking away.)
Chunky (Insert Meghan Trainor song here.)
Chubbs (Hasn’t impacted my sex life! More to love!)
Lard ass (My best asset is perfectly jiggly and will not be made of bricks. So lard it is! Or jello. Pudding!)
You’re just jealous (Sometimes I feel jealous, but never when or of someone who can say that.)
Dirty Elbows/knees (Lemme sit over here with my “dirty” elbows and knees while I tan in five minutes and you burn for three hours to end up with lobster knees.)
Monkey (More brown jokes? Very adult and original.)
Liar (Yes, it’s a lie that I believed you could act like a grown up.)
Needy (Hahaha! I am human. I have “needs” so this one could be correct.)
Cheat (Never in my life. How about you?)
Karma will get you (Thank God. I need to win the lottery and dealing with you has earned me SO many winnings!)
The Lord is on my side (There are no SIDES! If you really believe in God you know you need to focus on yourself.)
Dumbass (See “stupid” above.)
Drama Queen (Ooh buddy this one takes on to know one. Your crown is covered in thorns BTW.)
Two Faced (Absolutely. I have one face for my friends and the other for you.)
Psycho (I’m sorry me expressing myself makes you feel less intelligent and inferior.)
Bitter (I may seem sour to you, but inside I’m sugar. To the people who deserve it.)
Meanie (Wow. Now you’re just talking like the four-year-old you are.)
This is all for humor’s sake of course. Until the bullies stop acting out their self-hatred on others, there will be bullying. But you do not have to take what they say and make it your own. That’s your OWN choice. Choose to love yourself more.
Iman Woods is an American artist who specializes in pin-up photography. Through a unique and therapeutic process, she’s spent over a decade in perfecting, Iman helps women undo the damage from a negative self-image and unrealistic beauty industry expectations. She helps women embrace their own style of beauty and see themselves in a new light. You can find her on her website, ImanWoods[dot]com.
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