Dreamers Please, Can We Talk About Motherhood?

Last updated on October 5th, 2017 at 03:18 pm

This past weekend, I found myself driving four High school girls (one of them being my 17-year-old daughter Perrie) out to an old mental institution.

Wait until your parenting dream comes true.

I didn’t realize that behind this incredibly spooky madhouse there was this amazing camping area available to local schools. The girl’s and I had a good old hair-raising talking about all the horror movies shot in these types of locations. We squealed and screamed about ax-murderers, psychos, mask-wearing freaks, and more.

I realized I had been on a field trip for 25 years.

I mean really, once you activate the uterus, there is no turning back.

I remembered having to drive 150 miles to pick up my oldest daughter who flat out freaked on a camp-out. I was pregnant with my third child at the time and never knew if I was going to barf, poop or cry at any given moment.

The absolute selfless, sacrifice it takes to be a Mom is, well, what it takes to be a Mom.

We were supposed to leave my daughter’s school at 9 a.m. I waited patiently in the classroom while the two male, I might add, teachers tried to wrestle these demons into some kind of order. This, of course, is an “alternative” school.

Nothing but the weirdest for my kids.

They were all yelling. The F-bombs were dropping, and there’s hickeys and face piercings, and blue hair, and sweet baby Jesus, who is raising these young people? I’m all for freedom of speech and expressing you, but holy Goddess of grace, is there any basic standard of respect?

I made eye contact with my daughter, Perrie. She winked at me and I winked back.

On the way to the car I put my arm around her and whispered in her ear, “Yeeeees, you can graduate early Sweetie. Go for it.” It was a perfect opportunity for me to see what she had been talking about. She needed out and I now understood why.

I am often shocked at how much I learn from my kids. It’s like a school, this thing called motherhood. My dream of being a middle-aged, white rapper is fueled greatly by the experience of Mothering.

Mama Rap

You should think long and hard
before moving into the Mother Hood.
Don’t do it just because you think you should.
Don’t do it because your now a wife,
your talkin’ a full on job for life.
There’s shitty pants and the midnight dance
that seems to go on forever.
There’s the massive amount of laundry you’ll do
and oh . . . the patience it takes to be clever.
And even though Dads can be good
women stand alone
in the Mother Hood.
We birth em’ and nurse em’ and bathe em’ and such
adding endless love for the finishing touch.
They’ll break your heart and make it soar
They’ll give you stretch marks and so much more
So listen up and listen good . . .
You have to be strong to be in the Hood
Mother Hood Mother Hood . . .
If you’re going to do it, do it good.

 

Laurie

Laurie Allen’s dream is to be a mom rapper.