• LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US

8WomenDream

Dream Big Stories

  • HOME
  • ABOUT
  • CONNECT
You Are Here Home » BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER » How To Connect With Your Audience

in BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

How To Connect With Your Audience

Last updated on January 22nd, 2019 at 01:57 pm

FunnyKeynoteSpeaker

“Our audiences see us as larger than life. In order to make our message stick and have lasting impact, we must figure out how to shorten the gap between us and them. We must master the art of connection.” Kelly Swanson

Why Connection Matters

In the years that I have been studying and coaching speakers, I have watched hundreds of them focus on what to say and how to say it, while leaving out the most important ingredient – the art of connection.  Standing on a stage and telling people what to do isn’t what it takes to get them to do it.  Successfully communicating your content may be enough to “get the job done” but it doesn’t do much to truly instill lasting change, alter perceptions, and motivate people to WANT to take your advice. That’s why it is so important that you connect and engage on a personal level with your audience.

We are all sales people up there – selling something – a truth, an idea, a message, hope, a cause, awareness. Whatever it is, we need buy in from our audience. And as everybody in sales knows, people buy from people they like, trust, believe, and feel like they know. This is not something you can simply tell them to do, it’s something you have to earn.  Your ability to connect and engage with your audience will determine your success on stage and your longevity in this business. Especially if you’re a motivational keynote speaker.

That may sound like scary news to you, but it shouldn’t be. It simply takes an awareness on your part, to go beyond the data to close the gap between you and your audience.

How To Shorten The Gap Between You and Them

Your audience sees you as larger than life. Not just because you wrote great marketing material that sings your own praises, but because you are up there in the first place.  Speaking in public is one of the top five fears most people have. So the very idea that you have the courage to be up there, puts you on a pedestal in their eyes. Add to that whatever credibility you have to your name (books published, appearances on TV, etc.) and you get even larger. Add to that an incredible life story about crashing in a plane and having to eat your friends, or winning the gold medal without limbs, and you have now dropped into that place where they can barely relate to you at all.  Many speakers love this place. They find great honor being held in such high acclaim. I am the opposite. I believe that if you can’t relate to me, then you can’t relate to my message. I can’t earn your trust, respect, and make you believe what I have to say unless I can find common ground. My ability to connect and engage with my audience is truly what gets me booked.  It’s what I feel makes the difference in a job and a calling.

So how do we shorten the gap between the pedestal and their hearts?  How do we connect?  By asking yourself this question:  Who am I on stage?

When I first start coaching a speaker, they want me to look at video so I can see how they do what they do. I don’t like to do that. I like to get to know the speaker – hear their voice – get a feel for their personality. Why? Because chances are really high that the speaker gets on stage and becomes someone else.  My job is to help them connect by truly tapping into who they are authentically speaking.

Sure, in comedy you take on a certain comedic personality.  I ramp up my personality on stage to become bigger.  But as a speaker, it is crucial that they feel like that is you up there – not you performing – not you in your Sunday school voice – not you overly polished and mechanical. If you don’t seem real to them, they disengage. Your ability to move your arms the right way, or your vocal variety, is not what makes an audience like you.  That’s just Public Speaking 101.  Connection has to go deeper.  It has to be more authentic. It has to be more you, less you on script.

When you speak to me from that stage, are you the same guy I met at the PTA meeting?  When you tell me a story, is it in the same voice and personality as you would tell me curled up on my couch with a glass of wine? Is your speech written the way you actually talk – the way conversation really flows – or is it written like it was submitted to Reader’s Digest?  Are you standing up there on stage with your arms held out at attention, pacing maniacally back and forth? Is that how you would tell me a story at the dinner table?

The key to connection is turning your speech into a conversation with the audience. Looking at them, nodding at them, reacting to what you think they are thinking, stopping mid sentence to try and figure out what word you want to use, having the courage to add a thought that just popped into your head. When you are this “in the moment” then so is your audience.

I would love to give you twenty tips to connect from stage, but I don’t think that will help you as much as giving you this assignment:

Write your speech or story the way you would tell it in conversation. Use the words YOU would use. Talk as if you are having a conversation, not performing lines of a play.  Record yourself telling it and dictate it if that helps you get it more relaxed.  Then practice the speech or story like you are telling someone beside you on the plane. Invite a group of friends over for dinner and try out your speech at the dinner table. Let the interrupt and ask questions. In fact, encourage it.  It will force you to tell it in a more conversational way. It will force you to be in the moment. Present.

And, yes, you can script every word of your speech and still make it sound like you’re authentically having a conversation. Trust me. I know.

As you write those words that will change their lives, remember that you aren’t just giving them facts, you are connecting and engaging on a personal level.  Your greatest tool? Story. Story connects in ways data can not.

Oftentimes it the speaker who stands there simply speaking from the heart who has a bigger impact than the speaker who has crafted every word. 

Having trouble with the delivery of your story? Then put Story Crafting Camp on your bucket list. www.StoryCraftingCamp.com    2016 Camp is already filled.  Stay tuned for details on 2017 camp – where people from all industries gather to master the art of connection and engagement through the power of story.

Related Stories:

  • motivational speaking connecting with audience Kelly Swanson on 8 Women Dream
    How to Connect With Your Audience with Your Mirror Neurons
  • america loves a good story, be sure to tell one
    How To Connect To Your Audience - Public Speaking Dreams
  • motivational speaking connecting with audience Kelly Swanson on 8 Women Dream
    Motivational Speaker Dream: How To Connect with Your…
  • Motivational Speaker helps you determine what's working with your audience.
    Don't Judge Your Speech By Your Audience
Kelly Swanson
Kelly Swanson

Kelly Swanson is an award-winning storyteller, comedian, motivational speaker, Huffington Post Contributor, and cast member of The Fashion Hero television show airing on Amazon Prime. She is also the author of Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale, The Land of If Only, The Story Formula, and The Affirmation Journal for Positive Thinking. She was a featured entertainer for Holland America Cruise Lines, keynote speaker for the International Toastmasters Convention, and has keynoted major conferences and corporate events from coast to coast. She just launched her one-woman show Who Hijacked My Fairy Tale in theaters, and it is being booked all over the country. In July of 2022, she was inducted into the National Speakers Association Speaker Hall of Fame.

Note: Articles by Kelly may contain affiliate links and may be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on an affiliate link.

Filed Under: BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

Some of the posts on 8WD contain affiliate links or links to purchase products or programs from 8WD contributors. This means 8WD or the contributor may make a small commission if you make a purchase. The 8WD affiliate links help offset the cost of hosting this website and the contributor links help support the dreams of the contributor. Please check out the 8WD Legal Page for more details.

Thank you for your continued support!

« Get Your Boss on Board with a Travel Leave of Absence
Why Retreats Are Good For Your Speaking Business »

Check it out

  • LAUNCH YOUR DREAM
  • BE A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER
  • STARTING OVER MIDLIFE
  • HAPPINESS THROUGH ACTIVISM
  • TRAVEL THE WORLD
  • GET HEALTHY & FIT
  • BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE
  • BRAVE LIVING
  • WRITE WITH US


The 8WomenDream Dream Tote Bag

About the 8WomenDream Tote Bag
US – 10oz Cotton
Dimensions (External Dimensions)
• Height – 18″ (45.72cm or 457.2mm)
• Width – 15″ (38.1cm or 381mm)
Handle Dimensions (Internal Dimensions)
• Length – 29″ (73.7cm or 736.6mm)

Recent Dream Stories

  • 8 Solstice Traditions for Focusing on Your Big Dream this Year
  • Winter Solstice: What Will You Do With 1 Minute More?
  • Why Halloween Costumes Can Help Discover Your Big Dream
  • How the Equinox Can be a Catalyst for Change
  • 5 Strategies to Live Your Wildest Dreams
  • Starting Over as a Single Mom Wasn’t My Big Dream
  • Warning: Big Dream to Be a Motivational Speaker Won’t Always Obey Your Plans
  • Dance to Relieve Stress to Focus on Your Big Dream

Inspiration

More About 8WD

WE BELIEVE EVERYONE HAS THE POWER TO ACHIEVE BIG DREAMS.
 
IT IS OUR SINCEREST WISH THROUGH THE SHARING OF PERSONAL STORIES ABOUT WHAT IT’S LIKE TO TRY TO ACHIEVE A BIG DREAM THAT WE WILL INSPIRE YOU GO AFTER A BIG DREAM TOO.
 
YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE ABOUT 8WOMENDREAM, HERE.

8 WOMEN DREAM | COPYRIGHT All RIGHTS RESERVED © 2025 · LEGAL

Welcome to 8WomenDream Where Big Dreams Are Shared
The 8WomenDream website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're OK with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. ACCEPT REJECT READ MORE
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT