Last updated on July 7th, 2022 at 02:12 am
If you’ve ever sat through a session of America’s Got Talent or American Idol, then you are familiar with the judge’s personalities.
If not, then I would describe them as something akin to an over-bearing Italian grandmother combined with the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding yelling, “Why you wear THAT thing?!” in front of two hundred of your closest friends in the middle of your wedding.
Painful? Maybe.
Is it the truth, cruelty, or simply someone projecting their childhood crap on you because of some deep dissatisfaction in their everyday lives while they chase perfection? The judges have taken their share of public flogging for their honest opinions on these shows. Some say they’re brutal. Maybe. But whenever I watch them judge I think how lucky the contestants are to have someone tell them when they aren’t very good.
Can you imagine how hard that is?
Sometimes dreamers fall so much in love with their dreams that they lose all sense of perspective on themselves and the ability to self-regulate their decisions. It’s hard to know when you suck. Or maybe you just need a little fine-tuning when you “aren’t being very good.”
I agree that it is hard to tell when you think you need to get better at something and feel like you might be selling yourself short.
How do you look in a mirror and know where you really are with your dream?
This week, my son and I started preparing for his entrance into the 11th grade. No, I am not that old. This has caused me to be in the living room more than usual. That boy has a lot of socks. Looking through his clothes with him and figuring out what he needs to start the year gave me a chance to watch America’s Got Talent.
I was shocked to find myself agreeing with the judges most of the time–a contestant needed more coaching; another should perform in a different venue–like their bedroom; and the last one needed to lose the group and go solo to make it.
It’s easy to see when it’s not you.
For example, my son decided this summer to try out for the linebacker position on his varsity football team. This week at football camp, the coaches and fellow players told him he’d be a better defensive end. My son is as strong as a refrigerator and loves to tackle quarterbacks. He’s a science nerd who just happened to inherit his height and size from the Paul Bunyan side of my family.
I guess these are qualities that make up a good defensive end. I thought that it meant that he could devour a lamb roast in one sitting. He’s built to lift Big Blue Babe with one hand and contemplate frictionless rotation while adjusting his glasses with the other.
His coaches and fellow players see him differently than he sees himself.
For the first two days, he came home from camp and went straight to bed. I could tell he was upset. I hate it when my son behaves like I did when I was a teenager. I could only press him so far to tell me what was going on. He refused.
I finally nagged my ex-husband enough to go to camp after work and observe what was going on. It turns out that trying to become a linebacker was harder than my son thought.
Should he give up on his dream?
The solution sort of presented itself on the third day when he made a big play as a defensive end that all the players and coaches noticed. His father said he was amazing. He wasn’t so amazing as a linebacker. As a defensive end, he came home strutting like a peacock. The answer to your dream can often be found in how your dream is making you feel.
My son had to decide if the work to become a decent linebacker was worth sacrificing the opportunity to happily make many great plays this season in another position. Everyone saw where his real talent was, except him. We can screw up our vision sometimes, pushing ourselves in one direction until something sets us straight.
This is the moment that we need our own American Idol judges in our lives who will give us not only constructive criticism but information on how we can improve if we are serious. It’s hard learning to accept what you hear and weigh it in your head for a while. Sometimes these judges have been wrong, but not so wrong…
Your ability to hear what your personal dream talent judge has to say about your dream is only information. If you allow yourself to take the constructive criticism in and roll it around–without taking it personally. It may force you to make changes that help you realize your big dream.
Catherine Hughes is the founder, content director and editor-at-large of 8WomenDream. She is passionate about helping women step out of their own way and strike out into a world waiting for their special talents. She’s a published author and a former award-winning mom blogger. Catherine has helped companies both large and small create engaging web content, social media narratives, and unique blogging platforms. She claims to be a redhead, but don’t hold that against her.
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