Lately, one of my dear friends has begun telling me that she’s “bored with her life.”
The first time she said it I nodded and thought, “Your child just graduated from high school and is turning 18. Your job as a mom will forever shift and who knows, maybe your child will put on a backpack and travel the world for a year with friends and there is nothing you can do. Time to focus on your life now.”
But she’s kept on saying it and I think that there’s a deeper issue at work here. I see it all the time.
She doesn’t know what she’s passionate about.
She is disconnected from “the thing” that will fill up her life (beyond her child and the possibility of dating again). She’s not pursuing her own dream. Case in point: I think she’s a fabulous decorator. She literally sings to herself when she is arranging a room, or painting a wall. She consistently fusses until she gets it just right — like a painter stepping back from her canvas. She’s in another world.
For well over 10 years now, I’ve been gently suggesting to her that she take some design classes at a local community college. She always smiles at me, then changes the subject. I’ve even gone as far as to suggest that we fix up houses together. We both have a real estate background. She will still change the subject.
The key to living a boredom-free life is to find the thing you were put on this earth to do/be — the thing that calls to you when you slow down long enough to notice it. It transports you to another world. When you stuff your calling away — for the kids, for a better time, for your husband, for later on, for when you have money, for when you lose weight, for when you are ready …
It will always remain on the later list.
When you constantly dismiss the luxurious idea that you have the ability to bring more of what you love doing into your life — you then forget what it’s like to take a chance on investing in yourself. You doubt what you do naturally.
As women, we often fill the emptiness that comes with disconnecting from our calling with men just to be with men, or too many cosmetic treatments in an attempt to hang on to youth, or stuffing sadness with food and/or alcohol, or creating drama-filled life wherever we go — instead of balls-out going for living a life on purpose.
Instead we play victim to a life that we set up. We never satisfy the real hunger nagging at our souls.
I can picture my friend busy remodeling an interior and arranging everything the way she likes it. It’s easy for me to see because of all the rooms I’ve witnessed her re-design and decorate “just for fun.” Each time, I’d try to get her to bite on the idea of pursuing this skill that she is naturally good at. She’d say, “Yeah, well…” She’s been successful financially, but always disliked the industry she chose to make money at. Doing something simply for the money has not brought her peace and I’ve never seen her more happy than when she’s decorating a space.
Believe it or not, the point of this article does relate to running a successful blog and selling products online.
Because you also have to be drawn to your blog. You have to feel on purpose when you are doing it. You have to be addicted to your products that you want to sell. Thinking about your blog should keep you awake at night filling you with new ideas and plans. Your products should make you squeal with delight at how much your readers are going to love it. You should be completely obsessed and “lost in it.” Time should stand still when you are working on it.
The “just for the money” blog or product won’t connect you with your audience and you won’t see success. The audience you want will ignore you faster than a man can run from a relationship conversation if they sense that you are only in it for the money (unless your blog niche happens to be about making money) and although blind to you, your boredom will shine through online because you’ll be boring.
Find the purpose for you that draws you in and create an online presence and a successful life where you’ll never say that you are bored — ever.
Boredom tells me that you have already given up on yourself and your natural abilities.
Catherine Hughes is the editor and founder of 8WomenDream. She’s also a magazine columnist, content creator, blogger, published author, and former award-winning mom blogger. Catherine collaborates with companies to craft engaging web content and social media narratives. Her work, highlighting stories of the resilience and success of Northern California residents, appears in several print magazines. Outside of work, she treasures motherhood, her close friendships, rugby, and animals.
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